


Hotel D'Amour

by may10baby



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec is a blushing virgin, Alternate Universe - Human, And Magnus is probably loving his life, And plot twist towards the end, Fluff, Humor, Isabelle is a Queen, Jace is playing the wingman, M/M, Magnus gives Alec a lap dance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-16
Updated: 2014-02-16
Packaged: 2018-01-12 17:58:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1194354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/may10baby/pseuds/may10baby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Alec's eighteenth birthday, so Jace and Isabelle drag him to the Hotel D'Amour, where he gets a lap dance from a very attractive stripper.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hotel D'Amour

**Author's Note:**

> Just a silly little AU I wrote because the prompt amused me. Stripper!Magnus amuses everyone methinks. Comments are loved!

“Oh, come on, Alec! It's your 18th birthday! Going to a strip club is mandatory!” Jace said, grinning widely as he all but dragged Alec onto the subway.

 

“Mom and dad are going to kill you if they find out.” Alec hissed back, dragging his feet. “And you and Isabelle are _underage_!” He yelled when Jace yanked him hard, the two of them tripping into the subway car. Isabelle was already seated at one of the car seats, her legs crossed elegantly. She flipped her hair over her shoulder, holding up two plastic cards between her fingers.

 

“Don't worry,” she began evenly, “Meliorn makes excellent fake IDs.” Alec turned to look sharply in her direction, picking himself up off the ground. Jace stood up next to him, dusting off his leather jacket.

 

“Why do you know a guy that makes fake IDs?” Alec asked suspiciously. Isabelle batted her eyes at him.

 

“Because I don't spend my entire life confined to my room, the school, the house library, the school library, and the school's archery range.” She shot back. Alec's cheeks darkened and he looked away. “Come on, Alec! Just for tonight? It's your birthday!” Isabelle added, making sure to add a bit of pleading in her voice. Isabelle rarely used it since she wasn't one to plead for anything. She was more of a burn down anything in her path sort of girl, but Alec required gentle finesse in all thing revolving around his sexuality.

 

“But why does it have to be a _gay_ strip club?” Alec asked finally. Jace snorted.

 

“Because you're completely gay.” He said. “Remember that time Izzy's friend tried to kiss you and you almost cried?”

 

“Friend's little sister.” Isabelle corrected. “And to be fair, I'd cry too if Maureen tried to kiss me.” She added. Jace make a noncommittal sound in the back of his throat, turning his attention to the subway map, eying it critically.

 

Alec was busy planning an escape route when the subway lurched to a stop and Jace grinned.

 

“We're here!” He said, grabbing Alec's arm in a vice and dragging him out the door.

 

Alec could tell by the graffiti on the walls of the station that they were in the night club district. Jace led them up the stairs and out onto the street, and Alec was subjected to flashing lights and crowds of under-dressed people. He reached out to grab Isabelle's arm instinctively, making sure that she was by his side. Isabelle scoffed.

 

“I'm right here, Alec. Don't worry. I wouldn't miss this for anything.”

 

“You better not disappear.” Jace spoke over his shoulder. “You've got my fake ID.” Jace led them down a wide street, neon signs hanging out into the road. He stopped at one that said _Hotel D'amour_ and promptly got in line.

 

“Hotel of Love?” Alec tried. Jace shrugged.

 

“Clary said that this was a good club.”

“What would Clary know about male gay clubs? She's a girl.” Alec pointed out. Isabelle snorted behind them.

 

“More than a straight boy and a gay guy so far in the closet he's met Aslan.” Isabelle pointed out. Jace and Alec sent her a look, but didn't say anything. They stepped up to the bouncer, and handed over their IDs. The bouncer glanced over there cards, then looked back at the three of them. Alec fidgeted nervously, wondering if Isabelle and Jace would get caught. He certainly wasn't going in the club on his own. The bouncer's gaze fixed on him.

 

“You eighteen?” He asked Alec of all people, who sputtered indignantly.

 

“ _Me_?” Alec repeated. The bouncer eyed him.

 

“Yes, you.” He shot back. Jace stepped forward, patting Alec on the shoulder. Club bouncer or not, Alec could have taken him out easily as aggravated and nervous as he was. Alec, Isabelle and Jace were all the children of soldiers, even though Jace had been adopted. All of their parents had been Special Forces troops, in fact, and in the same advanced unit. Their parents had made sure they knew how to properly defend themselves.

 

“Aw, man. Come on!” Jace said, grinning at the bouncer. “Check his date. It's his birthday today. He's just a bit nervous is all.” The bouncer went over the card again, looked back at Alec's beet red face, and snorted before handing the cards back to them.

 

”Have fun.” He said with a smirk, and Alec nearly ran away then. Isabelle grabbed onto his arm, dragging him into the club.

 

The music throbbed at a low, sensual beat, and everywhere Alec looked there were men, naked or not, walking around, dancing on stage, or wrapping themselves around poles in sexual ways.

 

“Oh god.” Alec squeaked, swaying on his feet. Jace grabbed his other arm and pulled him over into one corner, where a man was wrapping himself around a pole in a feat of acrobatics that made Isabelle whistle and Alec wince.

 

“Wow, gay guys really are that flexible.” Isabelle said, before sending Alec a curious look.

 

“ _Isabelle_.”

 

“I didn't say anything.” She replied innocently.

 

They grabbed a set of chairs around a small table for drinks. The club apparently didn't stock alcohol since it was 18+, but Alec was fine with that. He settled for a Coke and sipped at it nervously, staring at his lap instead of everything around him.

 

“Alec,” Jace said in a deadpan. “It's your birthday. You're supposed to be like a kid in a candy shop, not acting like you're in the principal's office.”

 

“Well, I'm sorry.” Alec snapped back. “It's not like I _wanted_ to come here.” Jace sighed dramatically, before looking around. He paused, pointing a finger at a man wandering around in his underwear.

 

“Hey, you!” He called out. The man paused, looking over to them. Jace beckoned him closer and after a moment, the man came over, the beginnings of a grin on his face.

 

Alec could feel his face turning red. It didn't help that the stripper was actually very, very attractive. He was part Asian, gold glitter streaked around his eyes, giving his irises a tint of gold as well. His hair was black, also covered in glitter. He was tan, and tone, but more so in a lithe way compared a few of the bulkier strippers wandering around. All he had on his body was a pair of tight, metallic gold boxers and jewelry.

 

“How much for a lap dance?” Jace asked. The stripper cocked an eyebrow at him.

 

“For you?” The stripper asked with just a slight accent, examining Jace curiously. Alec looked at Jace in utter confusion. Jace was 100% straight. He had a girlfriend and everything.

 

“No,” Isabelle spoke up, fanning herself with her hand. “For me please.” Jace slapped her arm playfully, before looking back at the stripper.

 

“No, not for her. For my brother. It's his eighteenth birthday today.” Jace added, pointing at Alec.

 

“ _Jace!_ ” Alec shrieked, staring at his brother in horror. Jace grinned roguishly at him. Alec's gaze shot back to the stripper, who was now examining him curiously. Alec dragged his knees to his chest, eyes wide. If anything the stripper looked mildly confused, if not amused by this.

 

“Alec-” Isabelle began in a motherly tone.

 

“Oh my god, Izzy, _shut up_.” Alec squeaked. He knew his face was red. He could feel it easily. He just wanted his face to hurry up and explode from embarrassment so that he could die and not have to worry about the way the stripper was coming closer.

 

Alec flinched when the stripper rested both of his hands on the arms of Alec's chair.

 

“Hey, cutie.” The stripper said easily. “Calm down. What's your name?” He asked, looking Alec in the eyes. The look in the man's eyes was one of calm affection, not the ridicule that Alec expected to see.

 

“Alec.” Alec replied hesitantly. The stripper hummed.

 

“Alec's a good name.” He said. “You nervous, Alec?”

 

“Yes.” Alec answered automatically, and he saw amusement flicker in the stripper's eyes.

 

“Don't be.” The stripper answered easily. “I've done this plenty of times before, actually. I've got you covered.”

 

“I'm sorry.” Alec said haltingly. “I don't like...doing things like this with...strangers.” He added nervously. The stripped hummed in understanding.

 

“I see.” He said, offering Alec his hand. “I'm Magnus, Magnus Bane.” Magnus flashed Alec a smile. Alec shook his hand nervously, lowering his feet to the ground. “Now, just relax. I've got you.” Magnus said, and then he climbed into Alec's lap.

 

It felt like Jace and Isabelle were miles away, and all that Alec could focus on was Magnus and the way he was moving his hips over Alec's body. To his credit, Alec's gaze only slid down twice towards the stripper's golden shorts. The rest of the time he managed to his keep his eyes on Magnus' face, particularly a speck of glitter that had stuck itself to Magnus' cheek. He slid his hands in his pockets, to keep himself from touching the stripper.

 

“Hmm,” Magnus began lowly. “Usually I have to tell the customers not to touch the merchandise, but you're being a good little boy, aren't you?” He mused. Alec flushed, shoving his hands deeper in his pockets.

 

“Uh, I just, don't want to, uh...inconvenience you.” Alec whispered back. Magnus leaned in closer, until their noses were almost brushing.

 

“You really are adorable.” Magnus whispered back. Alec made a squawking sound, turning his head away. He looked over at Jace and Isabelle, who were watching with mirrored amusement.

 

“I'm done now.” He croaked. “Jace, make him stop now. Please.”

 

“Alec, you're supposed to slide money in his shorts.” Isabelle called out from the other side of Jace. Alec's gaze shot back up to Magnus, who was grinning at him, his face still dangerously close to the teen's.

 

“That one was on the house.” Magnus whispered in Alec's ear. Alec squeaked, sliding deeper into his chair. Magnus laughed, reaching down with long, elegant fingers. Between his fingers were a strap of paper, with his placed in Alec's hand. “Call me.” Magnus said, climbing out of Alec's lap. He winked at the teen before strutting away.

 

“How'd you land his number?” Isabelle asked incredulously. Alec blinked, looked over to her and Jace -who both looked impressed- before looking back at the scrap of paper in his hand. It indeed had a number scrawled on it.

 

“What?” He replied, staring at the scrap of paper.

 

 

~o~

 

Alec sat on his dryer, watching his clothes from last night spin around in the washing machine across from him. It was the third time he was running them through the cycle, because glitter had somehow managed to permanently worm it's way into his jeans and sweater.

 

Isabelle was right. Alec was so far in the closet he could have been in the next Narnia movie. Coming home covered in glitter wasn't going to help his situation at all. Isabelle was a girl, and Jace had a girlfriend, so they had excuses, but Alec had no excuse. He didn't want to lie to his parents about why he was covered in glitter. He was a terrible liar.

 

In his hands was the scrap of paper he'd received from Magnus Bane, the hot stripper from last night. Alec turned it over in his hands, wondering if he should call it the number or not. Magnus had been nice to him, but he was a stripper. Alec didn't know if Magnus' kindness was him being genuinely nice or just trying to get a good tip.

 

' _He didn't even charge you_.' His brain pointed out. ' _He really was being nice_.' Alec bit down on his lip, swallowing his fear.

 

He'd send Magnus a text. Texts were fine.

 

But what to say?

 

He settled for “ _Hi_ ” regretting it the moment he hit 'Send'.

 

“ _Who is this?_ ” Came back a moment later. Alec nearly turned his phone off.

 

“ _Alec. Is this Magnus Bane?_ ” Alec texted, just to make sure he had the number right.

 

A few moments later, his phone began to ring, Magnus' number flashing on the screen. Alec mentally shrieked, hitting the 'Ignore' button. He then screamed aloud.

 

“Fuck!” He yelled, for lack of a better word to say. He clapped a hand over his mouth as another text popped up on his screen.

 

“ _Can't talk right now?_ ” Magnus asked. Alec bit his lip, before he pressed the 'Call' button next to Magnus' name.

 

Magnus picked up on the third ring.

 

“ _Hello?_ ” Magnus said, in that same, amused voice. Alec almost hung up the phone, clutching at his chest. His heart was racing.

 

“Hi.” He managed.

 

“ _Hello, Alec._ ” Magnus greeted easily. Alec could hear the smile in his voice. “ _What are you up to?_ ”

 

“I'm still trying to wash your glitter out of my clothes.” He answered, because it was currently the truth. Magnus burst into laughter on the other end of the line and Alec nearly died of embarrassment. “Oh god.” Alec said, ready to push the “End Call” button.

 

“ _Shh, no, shh_ ,” Magnus said between laughs, “ _Don't hang up, I haven't had a gentleman caller so cute in ages._ ” He added affectionately. “ _You're that pretty boy, aren't you? The one with black hair and blue eyes?_ ”

 

“So you do remember me?” Alec asked. “...and you think I'm pretty?” He added after a second, wondering if he should take that as a compliment.

 

“ _Of course, I do._ ” Magnus replied, “ _It's not every day a guy gets dragged into a gay strip club by his bold, underage siblings and freaks out about getting a lap dance. It was quite memorable._ ”

 

“You knew they were underage?” Alec asked, sitting up straight on the dryer. “Why didn't you call the police?”

 

“ _Because they weren't being overly annoying._ ” Magnus replied easily. “ _And it was obvious that if they were kicked out you'd go running after them, and I really did want to give you that lap dance._ ” Alec choked, coughing into the receiver. “ _Are you okay?_ ” Magnus asked, sounding concerned.

 

“I'm-I'm fine.” Alec trailed off awkwardly. Silence hung between them for a few long moments.

 

“ _So, did you call me just to tell me that you've got glitter stuck in your clothes?_ ” Magnus finally asked.

 

“I texted you. You called me first.” Alec pointed out. Magnus laughed.

 

“ _I suppose you're right, but I prefer talking on the phone to texting and meeting in person to talking on the phone. How would you like to meet up and talk in person sometime, Alec?_ ”

 

“Sure...?” Alec answered, fidgeting nervously.

 

“ _How's tonight at Taki's sound? You know where that is?_ ” Magnus asked. Alec nodded, before it remembered that Magnus couldn't see him.

 

“Yeah, I know where that is. You don't have...work?”

 

“ _Hmm? Work? Oh, I'm not really a stripper._ ” Magnus said easily. Alec paused, staring at his washing machine blankly.

 

“What?” Alec said after a moment.

 

“ _I was visiting the club with my friends Catarina and Ragnor and I wanted to humiliate them both, so I stripped down and started dancing. The rest of the club didn't seem to think anything of it._ ” Magnus mused. Alec sputtered into the phone. “ _I actually run a small apothecary shop in Brooklyn. Right in Greenpoint, actually. If you want you can visit sometime. I'll even give you a discount._ ” Magnus added with a laugh.

 

“You just stripped down, like-like that?” Alec said weakly. Magnus chuckled on the other end of the line.

 

“ _Yes. Yes I did_.” He replied. Alec stared at this washing machine in utter bewilderment.

 

“Weren't you embarrassed?” He asked.

 

“ _I've done a lot of embarrassing things in my life, Alec._ ” Magnus answered easily. “ _As horrible as it sounds, stripping at a strip club doesn't even come close to topping the list._ ”

 

“Oh.”

 

“ _Well, apparently my lap dance was very professional, considering the fact that you seriously thought I was a stripper._ ” Magnus said, laughing.

 

Alec hung up on him.

 

It had been a reflexive thing, driven by his embarrassment. Alec stared at the flashing end call message on his phone before he hurriedly texted Magnus.

 

“ _I'm sorry! I'll see you at Taki's...?_ ” He sent, staring at his phone intently.

 

“ _You really do prefer texting, don't you? I'll see you at Taki's, tonight at eight._ ” Magnus replied after a minute. Alec's entire body sagged with relief, before he realized that he had a date, his first date, and he had no idea what to do.

 

“Jace!” He called out, hopping off the dryer and running for his brother's room. He'd be damned if he'd take Isabelle advice on this.


End file.
